Move Along
by Romantic Dragon
Summary: What if Mimi had died after they found her in the park? What would Roger do? MarkxRoger.
1. Losses

_Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a MarkxRoger story, but I have written other stories. Please read and review!_

_**Disclamer:** I do not, nor will I ever own RENT._

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"No Mimi, please no." Roger cried.

Mimi laid on a blanket and pillow on the table in Mark and Roger's loft. She had stopped breathing and her pulse had failed. She was dead.

Everyone had their heads bowed as they listened to Roger's soft crying. They heard a siren in the distance and realized it must be the ambulance Collins called for.

Collins looked over at Roger and Mimi before leaving the loft to meet the paramedics. A few minutes later he returned with two men in white following him.

Collins spoke to them softly and pointed to the table. They walked over, but Roger was in their way.

"Sir, you need to move." One of the men said softly. Roger remained silent. The man tried again and again got no response. Mark walked over and slowly pulled Roger off the table and waked him to the couch.

Mark sat with Roger while they took Mimi's body out of the loft. Collins, Maureen and Joanne all left without a word. This left Mark alone with the grieving Roger. Mark let him cry for a half hour before he finally spoke.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." Mark said gently. When Roger gave no response and showed no movement Mark brought him to his feet and led him to his bedroom. He carefully laid Roger on the bed and pulled the covers over him. He was asleep before Mark even left the room.

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The next morning Roger woke up at dawn. Remember what happened the night before he closed his eyes again and willed himself to disappear. But luck was not on his side when Mark came into his room. He walked as quietly as he could to the side of the bed Roger was facing. Mark looked at Roger opened his eyes to see blue ones starring at him intently.

"Good, you're awake. Though I honestly didn't think you'd wake up so early." Mark said with a gentle smile. Roger just grunted and rolled over.

"All right, I'll let you sleep more, but I'll be back in soon." He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Roger tossed and turned for a half hour, tying to fall back to sleep, fore he gave up with a sigh. He got up and went to the kitchen, still in the clothes he wore the day before. He poured himself a glass of water and sat on the couch. Roger heard a door open and turned to see a half naked Mark come out of the bathroom with only a pair of jeans that hung off his hips.

Mark saw Roger and smiled. "I'm glad you're up." Roger just nodded and Mark headed to the kitchen to get food. He came back out with a piece of toast and a cup of tea. Because of Buzzline they had been able to afford more food, some new clothes and heavier blankets, as they were still unable to pay for heat. They could even pay the rent on time now. Mark sat on the other side of the coach as he munched on his toast.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. Roger glared at him. "How do you think I feel?" Mark flinched at the venom in his voice and looked away.

"Sorry, stupid question." Roger sighed and looked down at the glass in his hands. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Mark looked up at him and smiled. "That's all right." They sat in silence until Mark finished his breakfast and got up.

"Well, I have to go film now. I'll see you tonight." Mark said. Roger nodded and went back to his room. Mark starred at the closed door with longing before he finished getting dressed, gathering his things and leaving the loft.

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_That's it for chapter one, please review. Constructive criticism is welcome. Next chapter will be up soon._


	2. Cuts

_Ok, I'm back with a new chapter relativly quickly. I would have had it up sooner, but it wouldn't let me upload my srtory for four days for some reason. Oh well._

_Thank you for all the reviews and I got many more hits than I expected! And, To Being An Us For Once, you were right. I didn't think you could tell from one chapter._

_Now on with the story!_

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Soon life in the loft fell back into somewhat of a routine. Roger and mark would eat breakfast together, Roger would go to his room, where he stayed for most of the day, and Mark would go film. Sometimes Mark would wonder what Roger did in his room all day, all he could do was hope that he was taking his AZT and wasn't doing anything that will put him into an even earlier grave.

One day Roger didn't come out for breakfast and Mark was worried. He knocked on his door continuously, but got no answer. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. He tried calling Roger's name, but only got silence in return. Finally he was too worried and scared to care about Roger's privacy; he picked the lock and burst through the door to see Roger asleep in the sad excuse for a bed. Mark sighed in relief and left, closing the door behind him. He never saw emerald green eyes open or heard the other sigh of relief.

After a month Mark had had enough with Roger holding up in his room. Yes, he knew Roger took the loss of Mimi hard and that she was important to him, but a month of this was enough. So one day he decided to end it.

Mark knocked on the door, but like before, he got no answer. He called out to Roger, but got no response, so he picked the lock and gasped as he opened the door. Roger lay, unconscious, against the far wall with a puddle of blood starting to form under him. Mark was at his side in a heartbeat looking for a pulse, finding one he looked for the injury. It was a large slit going down the length of his left arm, and from the looks of it had only opened a few minutes prior.

Mark ran out of the room and returned a few seconds later with their small first-aid kit. He carefully cleaned and dressed the wound. Mark sighed in relief when it didn't bleed through the bandages. He left the room again and came back with a few old rags to attempt to clean the blood from the floor.

He was almost done when his hand hit something hard and cold. From under Roger's leg he pulled out a small switchblade that was covered in blood. Mark held back tears as he looked from the blade to Roger. He couldn't believe Roger would do this, that he cared so little about the rest of them to leave them the same way as April. He bit his lip to keep from crying as he finished cleaning up the blood. When he was done he threw out the blood soaked rags and hid the switchblade in his room.

Because Roger was too heavy for him to lift, Mark put a blanket over him and retreated to his room to fall into a restless sleep.

The next morning Mark went straight to Roger's room after waking up. He was relieved to see the song writer still asleep with no new injuries. He left the room to make a simple breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. After calling Buzzline to tell he wouldn't be in for the next few days, he brought their breakfast into Roger's room.

He set the tray on the box next to the bed that served as a night stand went over to Roger. Mark shook his shoulder as he called to him.

"Roger. . . . wake up." He called softly. Roger groaned in response and Mark couldn't help smiling a little.

"Roger, come on. I have breakfast." Roger groaned again and mumbled something before opening his eyes a crack.

"That's it." He coaxed. Roger opened his eyes fully and looked into Mark's.

"Good morning." Mark said with fake brightness.

"Morning." Was the sleepy reply. Mark got up and came back with the tray of food. Roger thanked him and the ate in silence. When they were finished Mark set the tray aside and looked back at Roger, or more specifically his left arm.

"Why did you do it?" He suddenly asked.

Roger stiffened. "Do what?" He asked.

"You know what."

". . ."

"Why?" The film maker pressed.

"I didn't . . ."

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_Ok, that's all for now. I'm already half done with the next chapter, so it should be up within a week. Please review!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	3. Progress and Setbacks

_Ok, here's another new chapter. Very fast this time! Thanx for the reviews. I'm glad this story has some readers. I know the last two chapter's were short, but this one is longer. I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to review!_

_**Disclamer:** I don't own RENT. If I did, would I really be writting fanfiction?_

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"I didn't . . ."

"What do you mean you didn't." Mark pointed to Roger's arm.

"No." Roger shook his head. "I didn't . . . . . try to commit suicide. It was an accident."

"How is making a cut that long an accident? I saw the blade." Roger looked down at his arm and lightly traced the bandages.

"I didn't mean for it to be that deep. It wasn't supposed to hurt me." Roger's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Didn't mean for it to hurt you!" Mark nearly shouted as he grabbed the song writer's other arm and pointed to the red and white lines. "What about these? Were these meant to hurt you!" Roger flinched at the volume of the film maker's voice, but stayed silent. Mark kept glaring at him before he sighed and closed his eyes.

"This is what you've been doing for the past month."

Roger nodded.

"It stops now."

Roger nodded again, he knew that was coming. Mark grabbed the ex-rocker's hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Come on. We're going out today. So get dressed." Fifteen minutes later Mark and Roger could be found walking down to the Life Cafe. After a small lunch they went back to the loft. Because Roger hadn't been out in a while and lost a lot of blood the day before, he didn't have much energy. For the rest of the day Mark worked on his latest film and Roger strummed his guitar. It wasn't until after the roommates retired to their separate rooms that problems began.

It was 11:32 p.m. when the door to Mark's room was pushed open. A very tired Mark sat up and put on his glasses before looking to the door. Roger stood silently in the doorway looking at the floor.

"What is it, Roger?" Mark asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"I can't do it."

"What?"

"I can't do it."

"What can't you do, Roger?" Mark was thoroughly confused.

"I need it." Now Roger really wasn't making sense. Mark got up and pulled Roger into the room and sat across from him on the bed.

"Now, what are you talking about?"

"I need to cut." Was the almost whispered reply. Suddenly Mark understood, he knew this was going to be hard, maybe not as hard as the withdrawal, but still hard.

"No."

"Please, just once."

"No."

"Please, I can't stand it." Roger begged.

"No." Roger started to get angry, who was Mark to deny him relief from this pain.

"Give it to me." Roger said.

"No." Mark said, not phased by the harshness of the song writer's voice.

"Give me the damn blade!" Roger yelled. Mark had known this was coming, it had happened before. When Mark used to refuse to give Roger his drugs, Roger would get angry, sometimes to the point of physical violence. He just hoped it didn't come to that.

"Roger, you know I can't do that. It's for your own good."

"I don't give a damn! It's my body, I can't do what I want!"

"I won't let you." Roger grabbed a handful of Mark's shirt and pulled the filmmaker towards him.

"Give it to me." Roger said in a dangerously low voice. Mark shivered, but stood his ground.

"No."

"Then I'll find it myself." He released Mark and started searching the filmmaker's room, he knew Mark would have hid it somewhere in there. When he approached the dresser Mark got up to try and stop him. He grabbed the ex-rocker's right arm and tried to reason with him again, but Roger didn't want to hear it. He threw his arm back and Mark slammed into the opposite wall. Roger stopped moving as the filmmaker slid to the floor.

He stood there shocked. He hadn't meant to hurt Mark, he's never wanted to hurt him. Getting over his shock he rushed to Mark's side, only to find the filmmaker unconscious. Roger guessed that he must of hit his head when he collided with the wall. He picked up the unconscious boy and laid him down on the bed. He covered Mark with the sheets then climbed in next to him. He ran his hand through Mark's hair with one last thought before he feel asleep: _I'm sorry, Mark. So sorry._

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Mark awoke the next morning to the loft door opening. He tried to get up only to realize he couldn't mover because of a weight over his waist. He turned around to see Roger sleeping peacefully next to him with his arm draped over the filmmaker's waist. For the second morning he was relieved that Roger had no new injuries, unfortunately he couldn't say the same about himself. He untangled himself from the song writer and stood up, only to have to sit back down on account of the spinning room. He felt the back of his head and found a rather large bump. _That would explain it_, he thought grimly.

He stood up slowly this time and headed out of the room. Upon entering the living room he found Collins on the couch.

"Hey Collins."

"Morning." Mark went into the kitchen for some good old Captain Crunch.

"Why are you here?" Mark asked.

"Just checking in on you guys. How's everything been?" Mark hesitated before sitting down and telling him about the last few days. Collins was shocked.

"I didn't think he'd react that bad." Mark nodded in agreement. "I know, but he did."

"And there is no excuse for hurting you." Collins continued.

"Don't mention it, please. It won't help Roger." Mark asked. Collins considered it before nodding. "Okay, but if it happens again I'm not letting it go. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good. Then I'm off. I'll come back soon." Mark nodded and closed the door behind his friend. He turned around and saw Roger coming out of the bedroom. He saw Mark and looked away and got his breakfast. They both settled on the couch, Roger still refusing to look at Mark.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Mark asked. Roger finally looked up at him and spoke. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Mark said. Roger shook his head.

"No it's not. I shouldn't have hurt you."

"Let's forget about it, okay." Mark suggested. Roger nodded and continued his breakfast. Mark hadn't expected him to speak again so he jumped when he did.

"Are you ok?" He asked. Mark smiled at the genuine concern shinning in Roger's eyes. He nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." Roger reached over and brushed his hand against the back of Mark's head. When he found the bump he frowned.

"No, you're not." He said

"Don't worry, it's only a bump. I'll live." Mark gave him a small smile. _I'll make it up to you_, Roger thought.

"Now, what do you want to do today." Mark asked again as he took their bowls into the kitchen. Roger thought for a minute before responding. "Can we visit Mimi?" Mark looked at him shocked. Roger had refused to visit Mimi since her funeral. He was making progress.

"Sure."

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_Ok, that's all for now. I'll update again soon, but I want at least **2** **reviews!**_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	4. Good times and bad

_Hello again. I'm back with yet another update! Thank you all for the reviews! I love knowing what people think about my writting. This chapter is kind of short I think, but oh well, maybe the next one will be longer. Please enjoy and review!_

_**Disclamer:** I don't own RENT. If I did then I wouldn't be writting how Mark and Roger get together, they would have been together from the start._

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When they reached the cemetery they visited Mimi for a while before going to Angel's grave. After a while neither could stand being in the cemetery any longer so they left, went to the Life Cafe for a small lunch and then to the park. Mark, of course, had his camera with him so they sat on a bench while Mark filmed the people passing. It was peaceful enough and the roommates were enjoying themselves, but the weather did want to cooperate. Within a half hour of sitting there it decided to rain, by the time they made it back to the loft it was pouring and both were soaked.

After they were inside Mark went to the bathroom to get some towels. When he came back he dropped them on the floor and clutched his stomach as he laughed. Roger who had been shaking his head to get rid of the water stopped at the sound. He looked up at Mark confused, having no idea what was so funny.

"You . . .laugh . . .looked like . . .laugh . . .a dog!" The filmmaker managed to get out before laughing again. Roger stared at him before an evil smirk appeared on his face. Mark stopped and looked up and saw the smirk. _Uh-oh,_ he thought. He grinned nervously then ran.

Roger was hot on his heals as they raced around the loft. It didn't take long for the musician to catch up and grab the blonde. Mark squeaked as he was pulled back into a hard chest. He turned around, but tripped over the towels he had dropped and fell into Roger. Roger was knocked off balance and they both landed on the couch with Mark on top.

"Sorry." Mark mumbled, his voice muffled by the song writer's shirt. He looked up with a sheepish smile. When his eyes met emerald green ones his smile faded and time seemed to stand still. Roger slowly brought his hand up to lightly caress the filmmaker's cheek. Mark leaned forward as his eyes looked to Roger's pink lips before looking into his eyes again. Roger got the hint and leaned forward as well. Just as their lips were centimeters apart the phone rang.

With the mood killed the roommates sat up and waited to hear the familiar 'SPEAK!' After three more rings the answering machine picked up and a gruff sounding man began speaking.

"This is Dr. Salwen from the hospital, I'm calling on the account of Thomas Collins. He was . . ." The message was interrupted when Mark all but ran for the phone and ripped it off the hook.

"Hello? This is Mark Cohan."

". . ."

"I see, can we see him?"

". . ."

"Ok, we'll be over soon." Mark hung up the phone, but didn't turn around as he spoke. "Collins is in the hospital. They said he collapsed on his way home this morning and someone called an ambulance." He turned around to look Roger in the eyes. "I know you don't like hospitals, but please come with me to see him." Roger looked away, but didn't say anything.

Mark's face fell in disappointment, but he quickly got rid of the look, before Roger saw him, and started getting ready to go into the rain again. He was just about to grab their only umbrella, an old black piece of fabric with a stick that could hardly pass as an umbrella, when an arm reached out from behind him to grab it first.

The filmmaker turned around and was surprised to see Roger ready to go. Mark smiled softly at him before opening the door leaving with Roger close behind. When they got outside he opened the umbrella and pulled the strawberry blonde to his side with an arm around his waist. Mark smiled up at him and snuggled into his side as they started the long trek to the hospital.

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Fifteen minutes later the friends entered the hospital. Roger pulled Mark closer to him with every step

"It's ok, Roger. We'll be out of hear in no time." Roger was skeptical, but nodded anyway. They finally reached the front desk after many wrong turns. An old woman, that looked angry at the world, greeted them.

"How can I help you?"

"We're looking for Thomas Collins." Mark said. The old woman started pounding on the keyboard in front of her.

"Room 312. Take the elevator at the end of the hall to the third floor." She finally said. Mark nodded and thanked her before heading down the hall with Roger still attached to his waist who was constantly looking around him.

When they reached the room they found their friend sleeping in-between the stiff white sheets of the hospital bed. Besides the IV in his arm he didn't look any different than he had that morning. The roommates stayed for a while, but visiting hours ended at eight so they were forced to leave.

The walk home was a bit more pleasant than the one there. Though Collins hadn't woken up he didn't look deathly ill and was not in critical condition. On top of that bit of good news the rain had stopped.

When they got back to the loft Mark went to the kitchen, but just stood there as if he was debating whether to eat or not since they missed dinner. Deciding it wasn't worth the energy he left the kitchen and continued to his room.

"Eat, Mark." Roger ordered. Mark jumped at the sudden noise and turned to face the musician.

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. You haven't eaten since lunch." Roger went to the kitchen and began making two sandwiches.

"Roger, I'm really not hungry. I'll just eat tomorrow."

"And I said I don't care." The song writer finished making the sandwiches and handed one to Mark while he ate the other. Mark sighed in defeat before he slowly ate the food. When he was done he went to his room and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was woken up later when a weight settled on the edge of his bed. He grabbed his glasses and turned around to see what woke him up. Roger sat on his bed staring at the floor. Mark sighed.

"You know I'm not going to let you." He said softly.

"I know." Instead of the anger on his face like the night before, this time Roger looked ready to cry. He had finally been accepting that Mimi was gone and now his long time friend was in the hospital. Who knew if Collins was the next to go.

Mark just folded down the corner of his sheets in a silent invitation. Roger gave him a grateful look before he climbed in next to him. For the second night in a row the roommates slept together and when the woke in the morning to find their arms wrapped around each other, they didn't mind at all.

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_Ok, that's all. See you next time! **I want at least 2 reviews again!** Thanks._

**_Kag-Kitsune_**


	5. Old Friends, New Opportunities

_I'm back with the next chapter! Hope you all like it! Thanks for the reviews, I love knowing what people think of my writting._

_**Disclamer:** I don't own RENT (I feel like I've said this before )_

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Once again life in the loft fell in a routine, though this time is was a little different. Mark still went to work everyday and Roger would stay home anxiously awaiting his return. He didn't know when, but something had changed between the roommates, they were closer than ever. Nothing romantic, but it was clear that they relied on each other heavily. After the first few nights after the incident Roger had taken to just sleeping with Mark from the beginning, and almost every morning they woke to find their limbs tangled together. Not that they minded in the least.

Collins had, thankfully, been released from the hospital after four days. The doctors didn't know what had caused him to collapse, but they could find nothing wrong with him that they didn't already know about. Collins had been out of the hospital moments after his discharge papers had been signed, thankful to get out of the sterile environment.

They heard from Maureen and Joanne occasionally, but the group hadn't been together since Mimi's death. Mark realized this one morning and he decided that it was time to get together. Roger was better, he hadn't cut in weeks, and was all for the gang getting together. Mark called Collins and Joanne and they decided to meet at the Life Cafe at six.

Mark and Roger walked in twenty minutes late because Mark's boss had refused to let him leave until he had finished his latest segment.

They hadn't been sitting for more than five minutes when Mark was tackled, causing him to fall into Roger. The filmmaker sat stiff while he was being hugged. When the person pulled away Mark was shocked at who he saw.

"Mark! I haven't seen you in years!" The man exclaimed.

"John! What are you doing here?" Mark was staring at the man in front of him with a huge smile. The man was about Roger's height with brown eyes and brown hair.

"I'm here on business for a few weeks so I decided to look you up." A cough came from behind him and Mark remember the rest of his friends. He turned to the group and smiled again.

"Everyone, this is John. John, these are my friends, Roger, Maureen, Joanne, and Collins." He said as he pointed to everyone in turn.

"Hello, everyone." Everyone said smiled and returned the greeting.

"So Mark, how do you know this guy?" Collins asked. Mark blushed before he answered.

"I met him back while I was in college. He was my . . .boyfriend." Everyone at the table was shocked.

"You're gay, Mark?" Maureen asked loudly. Mark blushed again and looked at the table.

"Bi."

"So how long did the two of you date." Joanne asked. This time John smiled.

"For two years." He said.

"That long? Why'd you guys break up?" Leave it to Maureen to be blunt with everything that came out of her mouth.

"I came here, but John had gotten a job offer for a company in Florida. We both agreed to end our relationship, but stay friends. We lost touch a few months ago." Mark explained. Roger glared at the new comer, he didn't like John. Collins was the next to speak.

"So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an architect. I'm here overseeing the building of a new studio I designed." That peaked Roger's interest.

"What kind of studio?" He asked. They made room and John sat down as he told about it.

"Well it's huge, with many different departments. The main ones are: Dancing, music, and film. Each department has smaller ones that branch off from it. We already have the head managers for everything, and when we open we hope to get a lot of business, of course there will be many job opportunities within the company as well." Mark, Roger, and Maureen looked like they had just stuck gold, which, in a way, they had. Mark was the first to speak.

"You have to be kidding." John smiled at him, "nope."

"Does it have a name?"

"Not yet." John thought for a moment.

"You guys wouldn't want to be a part of this, would you?" He asked.

"Hell yes!" Roger finally spoke. Mark nodded, and Maureen was surprisingly quiet. She suddenly screeched, ran to the other side of the table and tackled John. Never mind. John sat there stunned until Joanne pulled her off.

"I figured that would make you happy. Mark told me all about you guys, but wasn't there two more people in your group." He asked. Did Mark mention that they ha lost touch before Angel died? Well they had, and John had, unknowingly, just brought up painful memories. Nobody was willing the recount what happened so Mark had to. After all it was _his_ ex-boyfriend.

"Angel passed away a few weeks after we lost touch, and Mim passed away about two months ago." He quietly told the bare minimum, not wanting to relive anymore than he had to.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Mark gave him a small smile. "It's ok, there's no way you could have known." An uncomfortable silence fell over the table until the waiter came. John was invited to eat with them and they all talked about random subjects for the remainder of the meal.

After they ate Mark invited everyone back to the loft. Joanne and Maureen had to leave, but Collins and John took him up on his offer.

For the rest of the night they talked and watched some of Mark's films including Today 4 U, so John could see who Angel and Mimi were. They finally left when Mark ran out of films that he was willing to show. Mark made plans with John for lunch in two days and they said their good byes.

"Well that was a nice surprise." Mark said as he and Roger started picking up the loft.

"I guess, but now I'll have a job, and you can get the hell out of Buzzline." Mark laughed. Roger really did hate the fact that he worked there.

"Yes, I can get the hell out of there for good. That is as long as this place doesn't go under." He reasoned.

"The way he described it made it sound invincible, like. . .like the Titanic."

"Rog, the Titanic sank."

"Right, screw that." Mark laughed again.

"Get over here and help me get this sheet down." Mark said after jumping numerous times and not succeeding in catching the corner of the fabric. This time it was the musician's turn to laugh at the look of frustration on the filmmaker's face. He reached up and to the sheet down with out even having to extend his arm to its full length.

After they finished cleaning they climbed into Mark's bed. Roger pulled the filmmaker into his arms before closing his eyes and snuggling his face into the back of Mark's neck.

"Roger?"

"Goodnight, Mark." Mark smiled and closed his eyes, pressing closer to the warmth behind him.

"Goodnight."

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_Ok, that's all for now, next update should be soon! **2 reviews please!**_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	6. Much Needed Talks

_I'm back! I didn't fall off the face of the earth, I swear. I hope I didn't loose too many people. I have the next chapter already planned out, so it will be up quicker and it'll be longer, I promise. I also revised the earliar chapters, so look back. They're not changed too much._

_**Disclamer:** I don't own RENT, remember?_

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"We need to talk." Roger looked up from strumming his guitar on the couch. Mark was sitting next to him.

"About what?" Mark fiddled with his camera before answering.

"About what you did." The musician once again turned his attention to his guitar.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is."

"Like what?"

"Like why you did it. How long you did it before I noticed. If you have ever done it before. There's a lot to be explained." There was a long pause after the filmmaker spoke, when Roger finally broke the silence he didn't even look up.

"I was depressed. The day after Mimi died. Many times. Happy?"

"No. How could I be happy when my best friend almost killed himself and hurt himself when I didn't know about it?"

"You wouldn't have known about it, I've never done it since I've been here. It was before I came to New York." When Roger didn't continue Mark dropped the subject. There was no point in making him mad. He was going to make another attempt at a conversation when there was a knock at the door. The filmmaker took one last look at Roger, who was still fiddling with his guitar, before answering the door.

"Collins!" Mark was surprised, he didn't normally drop by during the day with out a reason. "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting."

"In the middle of a Wednesday?"

"Am I not allowed too?"

Mark shook his head.

"No, it's just. . . not normal."

Collins shrugged and turned to Roger.

"Hey, Roger."

"Thomas." The musician didn't bother looking up from his guitar. Collins leaned over and whispered in Mark's ear.

"He's in a good mood."

"My fault." He whispered back. Roger gave them a weird look, got up and went to his room, closing the door behind him.

"What did you do?"

They sat on the recently vacated couch. Mark looked sadly at the rock star's closed door.

"I asked him about the cutting."

He nodded in understanding.

"That'll do it."

Mark nodded sadly and looked at the floor.

"So when are you going to tell him?"

He looked at the older man, confused.

"Tell who what?"

"Roger that you love him."

The filmmaker's eyes went wide.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me."

Collins smiled as Mark's mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

"I-I. . . wh-where. . . wh-what?"

He chuckled.

"Don't deny it, you don't hide it very well."

Mark's eyes went wide again.

"Except from Roger. He doesn't have a clue."

The filmmaker let out a breath of relief. The last thing he wanted was for the ex-rocker to know his feelings. Besides it wasn't a good time, with Roger still getting over Mimi.

"That's good, because I'm not telling him."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, he's still not over Mimi."

"Mark, it's been five months."

"I know."

"You should tell him. Who knows, he might feel the same."

Mark shook his head sadly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he's not like that."

"Like what? Gay? You're not either. He could be bi."

The filmmaker gave Collins a sad smile.

"Thanks, but I'm not telling him."

Collins sighed.

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over."

"I know."

They talked for a few more hours before Collins left. Mark saw him out before going to Roger's room. He knocked on the door and called out.

"Roger?"

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Mark entered the room and saw the musician laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Mark walked over and sat and down next to him.

"Collins left."

"Hm."

"John is coming for dinner."

"What!"

"I invited him on Monday, remember?"

"No."

"Well he'll be here at five."

"Fine."

**_0808080808080808_**

_Next chapter soon. Please review!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	7. Fight

_Okay, I know this took way too long to get up and I know that it's incredibly short, but I promise to update sooner this time and the next chapter will be way longer._

_The only excuse I have is stress, writer's block and lack of inspiration._

_Please read, review and enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT._

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

At exactly five o'clock there was a knock on the loft door.

"Roger, could you get that?" Mark called from the kitchen. The musician grumbled before moving from his spot on the couch to answer the door. Still grumbling he opened the door and walked away. John poked his head in and looked around.

"Um. . . hello!" He called.

"Hey, John! Come on in." Mark called. John walked in and closed the door behind him. He went straight to the kitchen, deciding that Roger still didn't want to talk to him. As he walked in he saw Mark mashing some potatoes in a bowl.

"Hey."

The filmmaker looked up at him with a smile.

"Hey. You're right on time."

John smiled back

"Of course, did you expected anything different?"

Mark laughed and put the bowl on the table.

"Nope."

A timer went off and he opened the oven, pulling out a pan with three chicken breasts. John sniffed the air and smiled.

"Smells delicious."  
Mark served the chicken and called Roger to the table.

"Thanks, since you gave us those jobs, there's been a lot more money around here."

When Azure Studios opened two months ago John had given the first available jobs to Roger, Mark, and Maureen.

Roger dragged himself to the table, very unhappy to be in the other man's presence. He thanked Mark softly as he served him and John before himself. The meal was ate in silence, a very tense silence until John spoke up.

"So Mark, got a boyfriend?" He asked, Mark blushed.

"No."

"Girlfriend?"

The filmmaker shook his head, his face turning redder. Roger glared at the man who was making Mark blush, his Mark blush. He was the only one that could do that.

John continued to ask Mark questions about his life ignoring the fuming Roger. Sure, he knew the songwriter liked his friend, but he just wanted to have some fun. After all, he hadn't told Mark of his feelings even though he lives with him and is the closest person to him.

He decided to see how far he could push the older man before he exploded, he didn't have to wait long.

"So Mark, you still a virgin?"

That did it, Mark was looking very uncomfortable and embarrassed and Roger had jumped out of his seat and knocked over the chair he had been sitting in.

"You have no right to ask him that!"

John smirked.

"I think I do, after all I was his friend, not to mention, his boyfriend, long before he ever met you."

"I don't care! You have no right to make him uncomfortable!"

The filmmaker was even more uncomfortable now as he watched his friend and secret love fight. He tried to end it before it could get too far.

"Guys, stop, I'm fine, really."

They ignored him and Roger continued yelling as John smirked.

"You don't belong here, you're invading in our lives!"

"I have every right to be here, in fact I was invited here tonight, if I remember correctly."

"I don't fucking care! Get the hell out of my home!"

John rose to stand directly in front of Roger.

"No."

From a chair on the other side of the table the filmmaker they were fighting over was shaking and silent with his head bowed.

"I said get out!"

"No."

"Now, or I'm going to fucking throw you out."

"Let's see it."

John realized he had gone to far when the rocker grabbed the front of his shirt. He dragged the man across the loft, opened the door and threw him to the floor, throwing his jacket out too before slamming the door in his face.

John heard another door slam inside and he hoped he hadn't caused too many problems, he had honestly wanted to help. He though Roger would let it slip how he felt as he defended Mark, but all it had accomplished was getting his friend upset.

He slowly got off the ground and donned his jacket before walking into the cold night air.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Once again I'm sorry it's so short, but I will update soon!_

_I'll update even sooner if I get a lot of reviews!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	8. Finally Together

_Ok, I told you I would get it up sooner, and it's longer! Woohoo! Thank you all for the reviews! See, I really do update faster with more reviews, hint hint._

_I'm not sure how many chapters there will be after this, probably not too many._

_Well, read, review, enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT, though I really want to steal Mark. . .and Roger._

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Inside Roger stood in the middle of the loft looking at the filmmaker's door, which had been slammed a few moments earlier. After he had thrown John out, literally, he had heard a door slam and turned around to see no Mark.

He really screwed up.

"Mark?" He called as he approached the door.

No answer.

"Mark, please."

Silence.

This called for drastic measures.

"I-I'm. . .sorry."

More silence.

Roger hung his head and started to retreat to his room when he heard the squeak of a door opening. He looked back to see the door open a crack and Mark's left eye visible.

"Really."

The musician smiled.

"Of course, I never meant to ruin this for you."

Mark opened the door farther and hesitantly stepped out, going no farther than his door frame, ready to lock himself in again at anytime.

"You didn't ruin it." He mumbled, staring at the floor. "He shouldn't have been asking me those things."

Roger nodded, stepping a bit closer.

"But I didn't have to get mad."

Mark looked up and smiled.

"You were only being protective of your friend."

Roger sighed and looked straight into the filmmaker's blue eyes.

"What if I wanted to be more than your friend?"

Mark's eyes widened.

"Wh-What?"

The rocker took a deep breath.

"What if I wanted to be more than just your friend?"

"W-What are you t-trying to say?"

Roger fidgeted a bit.

"I like you. . .more than a friend. I. . .I don't know if it's love, but I know that I want more than friendship."

Mark was shocked into silence. Was Roger actually saying this? His love was actually confessing to him?

"R-Really?" He finally asked.

Roger nodded.

"I-I love you, I have for a long time."

The songwriter's head snapped up.

"You do?"

Mark nodded. A genuine smile graced Roger's lips. He reached out and pulled Mark into his arms, the blond relaxed into the embrace, enjoy the warmth. Roger gently placed his hand under Mark's chin and raised his head. He smiled before leaning down and capturing the other man's soft pink lips in his own for a simple, loving kiss. Their first.

When they pulled apart Mark had a shy smile on his face and he buried his head back into Roger's chest. The rocker ran his fingers through Mark's hair as they stood there.

Hours later you could find the roommates curled together on the couch, sound asleep.

They were awoken the next morning by pounding on the loft's door. Mark untangled himself from Roger before going to answer the door, glancing at a clock along the way he saw it was already noon. He realized that it was Friday and neither him nor Roger had shown up for work.

He hurried to the door and opened it to see Collins. He breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't John, he wasn't ready to face him after last night yet.

"Hey, Collins."

He walked back over to the couch and shook Roger, who had fallen back to sleep. Collins followed him and when Mark's shaking didn't rouse the musician he flipped him off the couch and sat down. They both laughed at Roger's startled expression as he landed on the cold floor.

Mark took pity on him and helped him up before laughing again. Roger scowled and gave the filmmaker a chaste kiss, causing him to blush a beautiful shade of red.

Collins smirked.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Mark, you finally told him?"

Mark's blush deepened as he shook his head.

"No? Ah, then Roger confessed. Well it's about time."

Roger looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

Collins smiled, that all knowing smile of his.

"Oh, Mark has loved you for let's see. . . . . about two years I believe."

The songwriter turned to the blushing blond in his arms.

"Really."

"Yes."

His smile grew. And he kissed Mark on the nose.

"I'm glad, but why didn't you tell me?"

He mumbled something into Roger's shirt where he was currently trying to disappear.

"What?" He asked. "I didn't quite catch that."

Mark lifted his head a bit.

"I didn't think y-you felt the s-same."

He understood now, his best friend had always been insecure when it came to himself. He gave other's advice all the time, but he never followed any of it for himself.

Roger bent down and kissed Mark long and sweet, they were broken apart by another knock on the door.

Mark pulled away again and his heart skipped a beat when he opened the door. On the other side stood John.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Ok, that's all for this chapter. Please review, remember, the more reviews I get the faster I update and the longer the chapters are!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	9. Friend or Enemy

_I know it's short, but I tried to get it up as fast as I could._

_Please read, review, enjoy._

_**Dislaimer:** I don't own RENT._

* * *

"J-John? What are you doing here?" Mark stuttered, he was the last person he wanted to see right now. 

Roger walked up behind him and glared at the man over Mark's head.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He nearly spat, pulling Mark back and into his arms.

Collins stayed on the couch, not wanting to interfere, and already knowing who it was from Roger's tone of voice.

"Well, I came to see why you two didn't show up for work, if you were okay."

"We're fine, woke up late. We won't be in today. Goodbye." Roger tried to close the door, but John held it open and stepped inside, forcing the two to back up.

John noticed the way Roger had wrapped Mark possessively in his arms and he was not at all happy. He also saw the nervous looks Mark was shooting Roger.

"Mark?"

The filmmaker's head snapped towards him.

"Is he hurting you? Just let me know and I'll handle him for you."

Roger made a threatening move in his direction but Mark held him back.

"No, Roger would never hurt me."

"You're with him. . .aren't you?"

Mark nodded and John felt a wave of disappointment and anger wash over him. He forced a happy smile before responding.

"I'm happy for you Mark, I hope you're happy with him. I expect you both back to work on Monday."

He shouted the next part to Collins.

"I expect you back to the studio in twenty minutes, Tom!"

The he left, closing the door behind him.

"I don't like him." Roger mumbled, staring at the closed door, Mark still in his arms. Collins walked up behind the two.

"Me neither. The guy is a brutal boss. He also has a horrible temper, keep your eyes open. Both of you." With that bit of advice he left for the office. No matter how much he disliked his boss he needed the money.

After the door closed again the roommates retreated to their worn couch. Roger sat first and steered his filmmaker into his lap where he ran his hand through his hair.

"You know, I don't think John ever excepted our breakup." Mark said.

"I don't want you going near him without me, okay? We don't know what he could do because of jealousy, I think we all know he wants you back."

The filmmaker nodded and snuggled into the musician's chest.

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you." Roger whispered into the blonde's hair. Mark nodded and lifted his head.

He stared straight into Roger's eyes as he spoke.

"Please, don't do anything stupid to get yourself hurt. Please." His clear blue eyes pleaded with Roger's emeralds.

Roger kissed the filmmaker gently.

"I promise."

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's go back to bed." Roger said, pulling Mark up from the couch.

"But we've slept all day." He protested as Roger pulled him into his own bedroom. He looked around at all the rolls of film littering the floor. The rocker laid on the bed but Mark remained standing. Roger sighed.

"Would you rather go to work."

Mark hopped into bed next to him and snuggled into his chest.

"No."

Roger threw an arm around his back.

"I didn't think so."

* * *

_That's all for now, next chapter soon._

_Please review!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	10. Spreading the News

_Sorry it took so long to get up, but here's the next chapter!_

_Thank you to all of my reviewers, I love hearing what people think!_

_On with the next chapter! Please read, review and enjoy._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT. . . . . . . ._

* * *

Roger was laying on Mark's bed, his arm propped on his arm and he smiled as he watched his filmmaker sleep. He was adorable when he slept, his mouth was parted slightly and his hair was mussed. 

Mark began mumbling something incoherent before rolling over so his back faced the rocker. Roger sighed, ran his hand through Mark's hair and climbed out of bed.

He padded out to the kitchen and yawned as he scoured the cupboards for food. Though they did actually have food in the loft, he could still never find anything to eat.

He pulled a banana off of the bunch Mark had insisted they buy, against Roger's protests that they were a waste of money. That was before he discovered they were amazing. He peeled it and bit a piece off as he sat on the window seat.

Mark came shuffling out of his room a moment later. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he headed over to Roger.

"Good morning." Roger said brightly.

Mark mumble something that sounded like 'morning' and sat between Roger's open legs, leaning his back into the other man's chest.

Roger smiled at his blonde love and wrapped his arms around the man's thin frame.

"Mark, you really need to eat more." Roger said.

"Mmmmmm." Roger shook his head and squeezed his love closer to him.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too, Roger." Mark turned his head as far as he could and pecked the rocker on the cheek. Roger finished off his banana and got up, pulling the filmmaker with him.

"Come on, get dressed. We're going out today." Roger said as he pushed the other towards his room.

Mark groaned, but did what he was told. He emerged a few minutes later dressed and looking a bit more alive then he had before. Roger pulled him to the door so quickly he barely had time to snag a banana.

"What's the rush?" He asked, smiling into the warm April air.

"Nothing really, I just want to spend the day with you." He said as he hooked an arm around Mark's waist, pulling him close.

Mark smiled happily, life couldn't get much better. The two roommates loved each other and Roger wasn't shy about showing it in public or to their friends. Speaking of friends, Maureen was currently running towards them, Joanne trailing a bit behind.

"Pookieeeeeeee!" She called out as she ran straight into Mark, knocking him away from Roger and onto the concrete, his banana landing somewhere in the street.

Mark coughed out a 'hello' as Roger hauled the woman off him and pushed her into Joanne.

"Be more careful! You could have hurt him!" He growled as he pulled Mark to his feet and wrapped his arms protectively around the smaller filmmaker.

"Don't worry, Roger. I'm fine." Mark tried to sooth the angry rocker, he wrapped his arms around Roger's back and hugged him tightly.

"Yeah," Maureen piped in, "I wouldn't hurt him." Joanne nodded behind her partner.

"We were just curious when we saw the two of you walking out with your hand around Mark's waist." Joanne clarified, releasing her partner.

Roger blushed but didn't release Mark. Mark on the other hand turned around in the embrace so his back was spooned against Roger's front.

"When did you get together?" Maureen asked excitedly, never one to be subtle.

"Yesterday."

"Well it took you long enough!" Maureen practically yelled and ran to the roommates again, enveloping them both in a tight hug.

"Lets got to the Life!!" She suggested, the other three shrugged and they headed to the café.

As they turned the corner they ran into the last person Mark and Roger wanted to see.

"John." Mark breathed.

* * *

_Sorry it's a bit short, I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible._

_Kag-Kitsune_


	11. Tension

_Hello everyone! I am very sorry this took so long to get up, but I had a bit of writer's block. The point is that it's up now and I have more ideas so I should be able to get another chapter up in two weeks to the most._

_Thank you to all my reviewers! You are all so amazing!_

_Please read, review and enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer:_ **_I don't own RENT, though I do have it memorized.

* * *

_

Why did it seem like this man was following them? Where ever they went it seemed like he turned up, even in their own home.

Maureen, being the ever observant woman she is took no notice of Mark's shock and Roger's hatred of the man in front of them and immediately walked closer to him, happily greeting him.

"John! It's nice to see you again!" She said happily.

John looked away from Mark to the woman in front of him.

"Hello, Maureen. How are you?"

"Perfect!"

Maureen continued talking to him, but John wasn't paying attention. Instead he was staring at Mark. Roger noticed this and moved Mark slightly behind him. Joanne, being more observant then her partner, noticed this movement and approached Maureen.

"Maureen, come on, we should go now." She grabbed her girlfriend's arm and tried to pull her away from the man and towards the Life.

"No, I'm talking. Hey, I know, why don't you come with us, John!" Joanne groaned and shook her head.

Mark stiffened and Roger pushed the filmmaker farther behind him.

"Sure, I'd love to come, where are you headed to?" John said.

"To the Life!" Maureen said happily before the other woman could stop her.

"Well then let's go." John smiled evilly at Roger and started walking towards the restaurant.

Normally Roger would have started a fight because of this entire interaction, but the last thing they needed was anyone else knowing about the animosity between the three men.

The rocker took Mark's hand into his own again and followed the rest of the group, at a safe distance that is.

Upon entering the cafe John led them to a conveniently secluded booth. He slid into one side and Joanne quickly placed Maureen and herself on the same side. Roger shoot her a grateful look and placed himself across from the other man and pulled Mark in beside him.

The filmmaker thought he saw a look of anger on John's face, but it passed too quickly to be sure.

-----------

The meal the group spent at the Life had to be the worst they had every been too. Looking back maybe not punching John's lights out when they had first encountered them had been a bad idea.

While they ate their food the table was silent except for Maureen's rambling. The air was thick with tension and Roger and John were glairing across the table at one another.

Mark meekly picked at his food and Joanne unsuccessfully tried to draw him into a conversation more then once.

Now, this wasn't as bad as it could have been, just a tense hour, but then John opened his mouth.

"So Marky, it looks like you've found yourself a boyfriend." The filmmaker stiffened and scooted closer to Roger.

"Yes, he has." Roger answered for him.

John turned back towards the rocker and spoke again.

"I'm surprised you would date him."

Roger narrowed his eyes.

"Why?"

"What? You mean he hasn't told you yet?" He asked, a smirk spreading across his face.

"John, please don't." Mark begged. Roger glanced at his boyfriend before turning back to the other man.

"Told me what?"

"That he's a slut." John smiled evilly as Mark bowed his head and pulled away from his boyfriend.

All occupants of the table looked towards the filmmaker. Silence reigned before the chaos started.

"You bastard!" Roger yelled as he all but leaped over the table and punched John to the floor.

"Roger! No!" Mark called out behind him, but the rocker wasn't paying attention. His sole focus was on the man who was now beneath him.

He punched the man continuously while shouting.

In the end it took three rather large men to pull Roger off and the entire group was thrown out of the cafe.

The group split up and Mark and Roger headed back to the loft.

To say things were tense between the boyfriends was an understatement.

* * *

_That's all for this chapter, I'm hoping the next one will be up sooner this time._

_Please review!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	12. Making Up

_Hello everyone! I know I said two weeks and it turned out to be three, sorry! But I'm already started on the next chapter so it should be up sooner._

_**Warnings:** I had to up the rating of the story because of this chapter. There is a lemon in here, if you are too young or do not wish to read that just skip from where it says Lemon Begins to where it says Lemon Ends, it's clearly marked._

_Thank you so much for the reviews!!!_

_Please read, review and enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT.

* * *

_

The two men entered the loft and Roger immediately went to his room and shut the door behind him. Mark looked on and cringed when the door slammed shut. He hadn't meant to upset Roger. In fact he didn't eve know why the rocker was that upset.

Knowing from experience that Roger didn't want to talk Mark went into his own bedroom and set up his projector. A white sheet was still on the side wall, as it always was and the filmmaker sifted through reels of film before he found the one he wanted.

The label on the canister was _'Happy Roger'_. Mark smiled slightly, he remembered this film well. It was only done in the last year when Roger was still in love with Mimi. It was the happiest that Mark had ever seen his roommate.

He started the film and sat back on his bed, watching it go through a series of clips of the past year, featuring only Roger and Mimi. He wished things were back to that, when Roger was truly happy, when no one knew about what happened to Mark.

Before he knew it there were tears flowing in tiny rivers down the filmmakers cheeks.

"Roger." He whispered.

"What?" Mark's head snapped up at the sudden voice. Roger was standing in his door way, green eyes boring into his own.

Roger walked into the room and sat down in front of his boyfriend. He reached up a hand and wiped away the tears that were still falling from the filmmaker's eyes.

"Why are you crying?"

Mark sniffled softly. "You're mad at me."

Roger shook his head and pulled his boyfriend into his lap, embracing him tightly.

"No, I'm not. I'm mad at that jerk John."

"But you want to know what he was talking about, right?"

Roger nodded. "Yes, but not if you don't want to tell me."

"I don't want to tell you."

The rocker let out a defeated sigh.

"I knew it." He said and made a move to get up. Mark was quick to stop him and pulled the bigger man into a demanding kiss. Roger complied and relaxed against the blond as he deepened the kiss. When they pulled apart Mark put his hands on either side of the rocker's face.

"It's not you Rog, I don't want anyone to know."

This seemed to appease Roger and he laid Mark back on the bed and moved over him.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

Mark nodded. Roger leaned down and covered the small blonde's face with several feather-light kisses. Mark sighed happily and tangled his hands in the blond curls above him.

**XxX Lemon Begins XxX**

Roger took his lips away from the filmmaker's skin only to place their lips together. Mark immediately responded and opened his mouth to Roger's invading tongue.

With the need to breath they broke apart and Roger began kissing down the pale neck in front of him. Mark turned his head to give his lover better access and unbuttoned Roger's shirt before pulling it off completely.

Roger smirked into Mark's neck and pulled off the filmmaker's shirt, throwing it to the floor where his had gone. He continued kissing a path down Mark's neck and onto his exposed chest.

Mark's fingernails dug into the flesh of Roger's back as the rocker took one of his pert nipples into his mouth and sucked hungrily.

"R-Roger" He moaned out.

Roger massaged Mark's sides and stomach while continuing the sweet torture with his mouth. The sensations quickly left Mark gasping and moaning erratically.

While his filmmaker was distracted Roger removed the rest of both their clothes before lying directly on top of Mark, allowing the nether regions to rub together. The added stimulation pulled a moan from both of them.

Roger continued down his previous path until he was on his knees between Mark's legs. As neither had ever thought about buying lube they'd have to use the natural one. Roger's emerald eyes locked on Mark's ice blue ones as he took the length in front of him into his mouth.

Mark moaned throatily and bucked up into the wet heat. Still lapping at the hard member Roger shifted his body until they were in a sixty-nine position.

As Mark took him into his mouth Roger moaned, sending vibrations through the most sensitive part of Mark's body.

When Roger felt himself nearing his climax he pulled away from Mark and once again settled between his lover's legs. The rocker placed two fingers into Mark's mouth and the filmmaker thoroughly wet them.

Roger quickly prepared his lover, eager to get to the actual sex. Roger left the room quickly to grab a condom before slipping it on and returning to the bed. After much pain and a few tears shed on Mark's part they were a panting moaning mess tangled in the sheets of Mark's bed.

"Roger!" Mark called out as he climaxed.

Mark's walls tightened around Roger's shaft sending Roger into climax as well. He came with the best orgasm of his life and called out Mark's name. They collapsed onto the sweat soaked bed and Roger slipped out of his lover. He removed the condom, relieved to see it hadn't broke during their activities before wrapping his arms around his filmmaker and relaxing.

**XxX Lemon Ends XxX**

"I love you Rog." Mark whispered.

"I love you too."

There was a moment of silence before Mark bolted upright. Roger was startled and sat up next to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"We didn't use a condom." Mark said.

"Yes we did, I just threw it away."

"No, during the oral."

Roger still didn't understand Mark's alarm.

"So?"

"Roger, you have HIV, and we didn't use a condom during oral. I could have HIV!" He exclaimed. Roger's eyes widened.

"SHIT!"

* * *

_That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed!_

_Review please and I will update soon!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	13. New Neighbor

_A/N - Hello all! I'm sorry this took a little while, I sort of forgot I left you all hanging like that. Enjoy the next chapter! Keep in mind I had planned this story, and now I have strayed so far from that plan that I'm not sure where I'm going anymore so just bear with me if it takes some time to get chapters up._

_**Disclaimer:**__I don't own RENT, though I do own John and Misha.

* * *

_

"No Mark! You can't have it! Not you!" Roger sounded desperate to convince himself that they hadn't made that mistake.

"Rog, I could, and you know it." As much as Mark didn't want to believe it he wouldn't delude himself. They made a mistake and now the filmmaker may pay for it.

Seeing Roger's guilty look Mark moved so he was sitting in the rocker's lap.

"Let's not worry about it," he said softly, "I'll go get tested Monday just incase." Roger nodded slightly and pulled his lover tightly against his chest.

"I'm sorry. If you get sick I'll never forgive myself."

Mark nodded, he knew there was nothing he could say to change his boyfriend's mind, especially if the filmmaker turned out to be positive for the disease that has doomed so many of his friends.

"It'll be okay, let's just go to sleep."

Roger nodded in agreement and laid back on the old mattress, dragging Mark down with him.

"I love you, Mark."

"I love you too, Roger."

-----------

The rest of the weekend passed tensely between the lovers. Both the filmmaker and rocker were anxiously awaiting Monday and Mark's testing.

While Mark left the loft to film most of the day Sunday, Roger moved up to the roof and sat on the ledge, his legs hanging over the side. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, just looking out into the city, he just sat there in thought.

It wasn't something he did often, thinking in depth that is. The more he thought, the more situations his mind would make up. Like now, now he was envisioning Mark's death, because of him, because of his stupidity. He just prayed to whatever god would listen that Mark wasn't given the same death sentence that he himself held.

A hand fell on his shoulder. "Hey man, it can't be bad 'nough to jump."

Roger hadn't even noticed someone else come up to the roof. He turned a bit, careful to not let himself slip off the ledge. The man behind him seemed to be about his age, had messy black hair and coal-lined brown eyes.

"I wasn't gonna jump." The rocker said, pushing the hand away and placing his feet back on the solid concrete to lean against the ledge.

"Looked like you were thinkin' 'bout it." He took a few steps back.

"I wasn't." He stared at the man for a moment. "Who are you?"

He grinned, showing off perfectly white teeth, and stretched out a hand. "The name's Misha."

Roger shook his hand and smiled slightly.

"I'm Roger. Do you live here?"

"Yep, just moved into the secon' flat from the top."

The rocker nodded. "Then you're in Mimi's place."

"Who's?"

Roger looked at him funny for a second before shaking his head. "Nothing, don't worry about it. So what brings you to New York?"

"Eh, just needed a change of scenery."

"Oh."

There was an awkward pause before Misha spoke up again.

"So, if you weren' goin' to jump, then what were ya doin'?"

"Just thinking."

Silence fell between them once again.

"I'll see ya later, Misha. I've got to go."

"Sure! See ya 'round."

Roger left the roof and traveled back down to the loft where he found Mark sound asleep on the couch. The rocker smiled softly and moved his boyfriend so he could lay behind the small blond.

He decided to tell Mark about his interesting encounter with their new neighbor the next morning. The day seemed to have slipped away from them both.

* * *

_That's all for now. I'll try hard to get the next chapter up soon._

_Please review! I love 'em!_

_Kag-Kitsune_


	14. Test Day

_First off I would like to apologize for how long this took. I know I'm probably saying that in every chapter, but let's just say my life isn't so easy right now and inspiration is hard to come by. I hate to say it, but I don't have the next chapter planned yet. I will try really really hard to get at least a small chapter up before the end of Feburary._

_ Thank you for those of you who have still stuck with this story and bared with me all this time. I very much appreciate it._

_So, I won't hold you up anymore with my boring ramblings here. Enjoy the chapter._

_Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or any of it's characters._

* * *

Monday morning dawned gloomy, the sun nowhere in site. The two occupants of the loft were on edge and moved almost robotically around their home, gathering things for the day.

Giving Mark a chaste kiss Roger reassured his lover about the test that was to be preformed that day. They knew the actual results would not be available for another week at least but that made it no less nerve racking. They called their office and requested the day off, needless to say John was not too happy with the news.

_"You can't take anymore time off!" He yelled over the phone._

Mark shook his head, "I'm sorry John, but I have to go to the doctor's."

There was some grumbling on the other end of the phone before their boss's voice was once again heard. _"Fine, but HE has to come in."_

"_Roger_ is coming with me, it's important."

More grumbling, _"He better be here or he's fired."_

Roger, who was standing next to his boyfriend; listening to the conversation frowned and plucked the phone from the filmmaker's hands. "Then I quit!" He growled out before hanging up the phone.

"Roger, you needed that job." Mark placed a hand on his lover's arm and shook his head before turning away and grabbing his bag and camera, "We better go." The rocker nodded and led the way out of the loft.

Still tense they walked together silently before they reached the clinic. They approached the front desk and checked in before finding seats in the waiting room.

Roger couldn't stop fidgeting every few minutes. He hated doctors offices as much as he did hospitals. Mark noticed and placed a hand over his lover's.

"Roger, calm down."

Roger turned his hand over and laced their fingers together.

"You know I don't like these places." He grumbled.

"I know Rog. Why don't you go wait outside? I'm sure it won't take—"

Roger cut him off abruptly, "No, I'm staying with you. I can handle it."

Mark smiled slightly and gave him a chaste kiss just as the door opened and his name was called.

"Mark Cohen?" The nurse called out, not bothering to look up from the papers in her hands.

Mark stood and Roger followed him to the woman. She looked up and smiled, motioning them through the door.

"You'll be in room 12." They nodded and walked towards the far door, the nurse following. When they were situated inside she started questioning Mark.

"So, Mr. Cohen, what brings you here today?"

Mark fiddled a bit with Roger's fingers, still entwined with his.

"I'd like to be tested for HIV."

She nodded and wrote something down

"And do you suspect that you have it?"

Mark nodded and she wrote something else.

"And why do you believe this is a possibility?"

Mark glanced at Roger, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Ummm, unprotected sex with my boyfriend... he's HIV positive."

She nodded and gave him another smile.

"Alright, I'll let the doctor know you're here. He'll ask you a few more questions and then run the test. Good luck." She left and pulled the door closed behind her.

As soon as the door clicked shut Mark slipped off the examining table and sat down in Roger's lap instead. Roger hugged his filmmaker tight against his chest and kissed his forehead lightly.

They didn't speak a word but just cuddled together until there was a knock on the door.

"Mr. Cohen?" A man asked, walking into the room. Mark lifted his head from Roger's shoulder and shook the offered hand.

"I'm Dr. Brice and I'll administer your test today but first I have a few more questions for you."

XxXxX

Roger and Mark didn't leave the office until it was after noon, the entire process having taken much longer then they had expected and Roger had remembered.

They walked back towards the loft, Roger's arm around the filmmaker's waist.

"Roger?" Mark's voice shook a bit.

"Hmm?"

"What if I'm positive?"

The rocker pulled him closer.

"Don't even think that."

Mark pulled them to a stop and forced Roger to look at him.

"But what if I do?" He asked more urgently.

Roger closed his mouth over Mark's, catching him off guard with a reassuring kiss.

"Mark, please, it's not going to happen. You'll be fine and you wont have to worry about this stupid disease. You can't be sick."

Mark nodded, even though he knew there was a very good chance that he would end being positive.

They started moving again and decided to stop at the Life to grab a late lunch before making it to the loft.

Once home the couple broke off, Roger going up to the room to practice and Mark to the nearby park with his camera in hand. Neither knew what to do, the possibility of Mark being cursed too was becoming too real.

* * *

_Please leave a review on your way out._

_-Romantic Dragon _


	15. Results

_So again I apologize for the wait between chapters and the shortness of this one  
_

_Enjoy_

* * *

Dr. Brice had said it would take approximately a week for Mark's test results to come in and that he would call the loft as soon as he had them.

It had been exactly one week since the day he was tested when they got the call to come into the office. That week had been one of the most stressful they had experienced since Mimi's death. Mark continued to work for John even though Roger all but demanded he quit. The tension between the lovers due to the possible sickness and Mark's work was huge.

Mark took another day off of work and he and Roger went to the office, both of their minds in overdrive imagining the outcome.

By the time they were called back into one of the examining rooms it was a small miracle that they weren't shaking like leaves. Luckily the doctor came in quickly, not prolonging it.

"Mr. Cohen?" He asked, a small smile on his face.

"Yes?"

"I have good news for you. You've tested negative."

The filmmaker nearly fell out of his seat at the news. Instead he jumped up and rushed into Roger's arms, squeezing him tightly.

Dr. Brice looked on fondly for a moment before clearing his throat to regain their attention.

"Although Mr. Cohen is negative I noticed on his chart that it was you, Mr. Davis, who he believed he may have gotten HIV from."

Roger nodded, "Right."

"I took a look at your file Mr. Davis and discovered you have not been tested in several years to check your t-cell count."

Roger fidgeted in his seat and looked at his shoes.

Dr. Brice continued, "You should get re-tested, as soon as possible."

"I don't need to, I've been fine in these past years. I'm sure there's no change," the rocker mumbled. Mark looked at his lover, worry clearly present in his eyes.

"Rog..."

"I don't need to Mark."

"Please Roger, for me?" He asked sweetly, giving him the best puppy dog look he could manage. Roger stared at him briefly before nodding dejectedly.

"Alright."

"We can do it right now if you'd like," the doctor suggested. Roger nodded and submitted to the test.

* * *

_A week later_

"Roger Davis?" The nurse called.

Mark and Roger practically moped into the room, having made this trip many too many times for their liking.

"The doctor will be in shortly."

They nodded, already sitting in the chairs, staring at the various paintings adorning the walls. The door opened and Dr. Brice entered.

"Hello again."

"Hello," they echoed.

"Well Mr. Davis, your results are back. I'm sorry but your count has dropped quite far since you first contracted HIV," he glanced down at the chart and both men watched him anxiously for his next words, "Your count is down to 250. I'm sorry but if your count drops below 200 it will become AIDS."

Mark's breath caught in his throat and his eyes clenched tightly. No, Roger is doing so well, he can't be that close to getting AIDS, to move into the fatal stage that claimed Angel.

Roger just nodded numbly.

"How long until it drops that low?" The rocker asked.

"It's hard to say. It could rise again, although the chances of that are very slim. On the other hand it could well below 200 in a matter of weeks. I suggest keeping as healthy as you can and not exposing yourself to any viruses."

Roger continued nodding before standing and pulling Mark to his feet.

"Come on," he addressed the smaller man, "let's go back to the loft."

Mark just followed, tears starting to drip down his cheeks.

* * *

_Review please_

_-Romantic Dragon_


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